


i'M sOrRy

by CrimsonDevotion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Graphic Description of Corpses, Insanity, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonDevotion/pseuds/CrimsonDevotion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Gamzee finds Tavros's body and realises his loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'M sOrRy

**Author's Note:**

> If you think I need to add a tag please let me know :)  
> This is my very first fanfiction... ever. Please be nice when trying to help with my writing.

Tavros's body lay on the cold ground, his muddy colored blood seeping into the pours of the concrete and staining the flimsey grey of his shirt. It would have been quite a disturbing site to the average human, his arms and legs twisted unnaturally from the fall and more blood congelled around his head, his eyes half closed - but it had an indifferent effect to the being that examined it at that moment. 

Gamzee Makara peered at his deceased friend. He had like this pathetic troll, hadn't he? He wasn't quite so sure anymore, the voices of reason within his think pan told him it didn't matter, either way the dead body before him was completely inferior and deserved to die. Right?

Once more the highblood wasn't certain of the line of thought he was lead down. In the beginning it had been easy to just follow the orders of the demanding voices in his head, they seemed to make sense in the stuppor he had been reduced to... but things had began to unfog a bit with the hours past. Even with this thought though he didn't really mourn the murder of Equius - the stuipid sweaty motherfucker, always going on about his fucking strenght - and Nepeta - annoying little bitch, it would take more than a motherfucking mericle to get her to shut the fuck up. Besides all they had ever done, all anyone had ever really done, was mock him. Okay, so maybe the sweaty one not so much but even that was a bit irritating.

But this one, he had been kind... had he not. Shifting through the dark recesses of his mind Gamzee could pull forth memories of smiles with this troll, long rap battles of epic proportions (which actually sucked if you were to ask anyone who ever read them) and just in general goofing off that he had always enjoyed. Were these memories the reason he felt some strange tug in his chest cavity as he continued to look upon the broken figure of Tavros? Suddenly he was angry, tipped past the point of rage, how dare his friend die without his permission! He was a pathetic fucking shit blood! What gave him that right? But why of all the trolls did it have to be the one he potentionally cared for most? Both thoughts made him seeth.

In a flash he moved swiftly over to his dead buddy, his feet pinning the limp body's shoulders to the ground and his hands wrapped around his large horns. HOW DARE HE DIE AND LEAVE HIM IN THIS LONLY PLACE?!

"tavros!" he shouted.

"TAVROS WAKE UP!" he screamed.

"wake your motherfucking pathetic ass up!" he continued.

"HONK!" the noise flowed through his mouth, ripping out and leaving his throat raw.

"wake up! WAKE UP! wake up! WAKE UP! wake up! WAKE UP!" he shouted over and over, his shoulders tensing and pulling on his friend's horns with a brutal strenght afforded to him by his ebbing rage.

"motherfucker wake up!" he said once more, his voice quieter as he still tugged, pulling up then banging the head down, his body shaking in the castrophic and engulfing anger that coursed through his veins.

With a final tug Tavros's head severed from his body, causing Gamzee to stumble back with the lack of something to stop the force. Crashing to the ground a few feet away the young troll looked at the head he now held tightly by the horns. His yellow eyes widened as he realized what he had done. 

"TAV?" he voiced softly, his tone ragged from his screams and raw from the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"please motherfucking answer me bro." he spoke again after a moment. Suddenly there was silence in his head, he could think clearly for just a moment but he knew it wouldn't last long.

Gamzee glared at the head with a mixture of hate, confusion, and some sort of strange gushy feeling that tightened around his heart - overshrowded by a feeling of crushing guilt and sorrow. What had he done? He didn't know what to do with these feelings. Tavros was dead... he had decapitated him. Why...? The clown looking troll could no longer recall what had enraged him to begin with, now his heart just ached with loss. 

But was it just the death of a friend that plagued him? No. As he shifted positions and began to cradle the head to his chest Gamzee realized it was more than just that. He sat there for a moment, legs crossed and Tavros's head held securley to him, new blood seeping into his own shirt, not that he noticed. With sudden clearity Makara understood the emotions that broiled and swirled within him. It was the loss of someone he had always been flush for, even if he didn't know it until now.

With this new thought in his head the voice seemed to come back, urging him to quit this foolish line of thinking. But the thing was that Gamzee didn't think it so mundane, just the mention that it was angered him again. Shouting at himself mentally he shoved the voice back in its little box. 

Looking down at the skull he held so tightly he lifted it up slightly so he could peer into its dull eyes. "TaVrOs... I'm ReD fOr YoU... jUsT tHoUgHt yOu ShOuLd MoThErFuCkInG kNoW mY bRoTher." he spoke gently and after a moment he leaned in and laid the softest of kisses to his cold lips. Why had he had to wait so long to notice it?

With tears still threatening at the corners of his eyes Gamzee stood up carefully, taking extra precaution not to jostile his love's head and damage it more than he already had. Peering over at the body that still layed crumpled on the ground a fleeting idea passed through his think pan, and though he knew somewhere deep down that it was hopeless he latched onto it.

Walking slowly to the body, Tavros's head still clutched to his heart Gamzee knelt softly by the top of the body and with the greatest care laid the head back where it had origionally been, lining up the two pieces as best he could. After a moment he leaned back over his friend and once more kissed his lips.

Nothing happened.

Wait, that wasn't right. Shouldn't one be able to bring a body back with a kiss? He couldn't be to late! He just couldn't! He had to be able to revive him. Maybe he just hadn't done it for long enough? Trying once more Gamzee held the kiss for several seconds before breaking the contact, once more nothing happened.

No, no, no! This couldn't be! Tavros had to come back, he just had to!

"TaVbRo... cAn YoU hEaR mE? pLeAsE, pLeAsE jUSt CoMe BaCk To Me." he said softly, his tears finally flowing over his eyes and streaking his grey skin with their color.

Refusing to give up he moved to the spot where the head had severed from its body and planted a trail of kisses along the seam, muttering a soft little hicuped "pLeAsE" between each one.

It was no use wasn't it? He was gone. His love was gone and couldn't return no matter what was done. The thought tore into his heart, ripping it to shreds as the insanity that had plagued him before began to lick at the edges of his mind again. Before pulling himself up to his feet Gamzee returned his attention to his friend'd face.

"I'm sorry TaVrOs I-I tRIeD brother I REALLY dId. i-i LoVe YOU tAv, i hOpE YOU cAn hear Me WHEREVER you ARE." with his last words the insanity took control of his mind once more, forcing him to his feet. As he started to walk away he turned almost as an after thought and swooped swiftly and in one motion had plucked up Tavros's head by his horn and was dragging it behind him as he made his way to the computer central where the rest of the party would resume.


End file.
